class-snuggle:

My roommate bought a pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper yesterday, in addition to the half dozen we already had, and stored all of them in the bathroom. And just let me tell you, there’s something incredibly calming and reassuring about looking next to you while you’re on the toilet and seeing 30 rolls of toilet paper sitting there. You get a feeling like, no matter how bad shit gets in there, you’re always going to make it out okay in the end.

officialunitedstates:

next time you’re over at your friends’ house ask them if you can “do the dishes.”  they will be incredibly surprised and thankful but will soon wish they never let you near them as you proceed to break them all on your knees while yelling “do is an ambiguous verb”